Ordinary: Going All In: Embracing Self- Discovery & Trusting the Journey File: #JNAFILES (xi) --- "Value yourself first and trust your journey. Only then can you truly impact the world in a meaningful way." Hi, Today, A very close friend of mine, that I really respect and look up to, looked at me in the eye and firmly placed his two hands on my cheeks and said: “you’re wasting a lot of talent bro” I KNOW he meant it in the most respectful, genuine, caring, and loving way. I actually totally understood why he would say this to me. In fact, I respect him even more for caring enough about me to say this. It was very encouraging to say the least. BUT… Recently, especially in the last 5 years, I’ve become more aware, open and accepting of the idea that my true “talent” is staying true & honest with myself! Regardless of what kind of success I’ve had in various areas of my life, I DO NOT have anything if I do not value myself! Any other talent becomes irrelevant. It’s just the truth. No one knows you or I better than ourselves. Im deeply grateful that I ran into this experience today because yesterday I had an idea of what I wanted to share and this experience helped clarify it enough for me to share now. See, I used to be OUT THERE publicly with my voice and message. I, in a sense, opened up my life for others to view while I would share my journey, experiences, and world views. Now, intentionally, I’ve stepped back and become a recluse focused on what I need to focus on, but I feel like I’ll be back and doing a lot more sharing once I graduate from this phase, this chapter of my life. I decided to take a MAJOR step back and really address certain areas within myself and my life that I know I MUST address before I can get back out there and have the impact I want. One could ask “if you were already opening up and sharing your journey, why not just continue to share what you’re going through right now?” 

this would be a very valid question, however, today I believe that not every aspect of my journey can be shared/should be shared especially in my case. My entire life I’ve never really given myself, up until this point, FULL PERMISSION to go after what I want. Let me clarify that last statement a bit. See Ive always gone after what I wanted but deep down inside I let the pressures of society (mental blocks) persuade me to hedge and hold myself back from really stepping on the gas! When I realized this, and began to do the internal work, I had an epiphany that in order to have a real impactful break through in life, I needed to stay true to myself and go all in, no hedging, and really see what I’m capable and made of. No playing it safe. And so, here I am. I’m doing life fully on my terms. There’s definite sacrifices being made. Theres definitely chaos happening right now. There’s Definitely hurdles in my way and emotional battles. I wouldn’t honestly be doing this without the support of my partner. She’s been beyond generous and trusting of me. But I can look myself in the mirror right now and proudly say I’m finally going for it on my terms. Scary shit, to say the least, but this is life with no plan B! As, for the reasons I feel this part of my journey cannot be shared in the ways that I once use to share is because sometimes one needs to see things all the way through, even when it doesn’t make sense to others, before opening themselves up to the world. I’m not afraid of criticism, I welcome that shit. But my vision is my vision, and well meaning feedback and criticism is only going to serve as a distraction for me right now. I know where I’m going and I’m grinding this phase out first. When I return back to my social sharing, I will be the most proud of myself which will inevitably be much more impactful to those around me. We don’t know what people are going through in life. We collectively almost don’t truly know ourselves, which make us vulnerable to lean on others for life advice. Not saying this is wrong or that we shouldn’t but I’m proposing that knowing and trusting yourself should be the first step, the major priority, not just something we tell others to do and neglect to do it ourselves. We almost don’t need to be giving advice or judging others unless we have their full story, or unless the individual solicits advice. We as humans often times make up stories in our minds that we know whats best for others, but fail to take our own advice. This is definitely a tricky conversation, but thats why I do my best to just focus on the idea that we, humans, should master ourselves before we master others. Thats why I stopped talking and started walking. --- Prev File:bb7e96202d8b84cf1f238b120936497e61c9a66373fd660b22233b1f3af38094i0 --- JNA2023